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Renaissance Marie Austin "My Story"

            My name is Renaissance Marie Austin and I have finally built up the courage to tell my story. But first, let me lay the groundwo...

How I Discovered Billie Eilish and What She Immediately Did For Me

For a short while, I have been contemplating how to find a way to express all the the passions I feel toward Billie Eilish. I considered starting a fan page on Instagram and perhaps reaching out to fans 30 and over, but after some thought I felt it would be a bit much for me to manage. Instead I resorted to what I love most, writing. Normally, I journalize privately in one of my many notebooks, but for some reason this time, that was not enough. I wanted to write, but write publicly in hopes of connecting with those who share common sentiments. My goal here is not to share links asking people to come to my blog and read what I've written. This is my world in one place and if you happen to stumble upon it, great.

When it comes to Billie, there are so many things weighing heavily on my heart both naturally and spiritually. Like I have mentioned before I am an empath and am also spiritually and energetically sensitive. I have spiritual gifts like strong intuitive discernment of which some have said, a prophetic nature, but I hate that word. I also have the gifts of understanding, wisdom, and of revelatory knowledge of godly ways and scripture. Most times I just see things differently than others. It is not my goal to exploit myself or anyone else and if there is something I don't know or understand I just won't write about it. Generally, I am glad that most of the fandom can relate to these deep feelings and that this time I don't feel alone in the emotions toward Billie. 

After graduating college this past June I can say that Billie Eilish is the person who has ignited new creativity in me. I mean, it was daunting going back to school in the first place and even more daunting now trying to rediscover who I am according to the world now and my own creative efforts. But first, how I discovered Billie Eilish and what she immediately did for me the first time I laid eyes on her.

Let me start by saying that it was meant for all of us to discover Billie Eilish at whatever time and place we discovered her. She is chosen and sent from the heavens whether she knows it or not. For me, it was Fall of 2018. I was in school, a music student, and was preparing for bed one night. I was on Instagram right before falling asleep and during that time I rarely entered the explore section. On this night I clicked the explore icon and honestly, I am not sure what caught my attention, perhaps a cute baby or a video of a dope hairstyle, but I clicked on something that allowed me to start thumbing through photos. Suddenly there rises this photo, of this girl, with blue hair, wearing very baggy clothes like I had never seen before, but it was so perfectly dope and swaggalicious that my heart literally fluttered and my gut did a backflip, I kid you not. Now guys, people, listen to me. This is how my sensitivity works. A reaction like this can not be premeditated. I said inside of myself very passionately, "Who is this girl!". I jolted up in bed and was immediately captivated in a slightly frantic way. I clicked into her gram and saw that she had over 500,000 followers. I thought, 'what the heck? Where I have been?'. Then I saw a photo where she was on a stage in this huge stadium with massive amounts of people and I thought to myself, is this girl a mega superstar and I don't know it? I looked at her IG handle and it said (what I thought it said was We Are The Avocados), but really it was Where Are The Avocados. In my mind, I thought this was a group of some sort. Now, please know, that I had never heard her speak, sing, I had never heard an inkling of a song at this time, but there was something inside of me that told me I had to follow and follow quickly. The last thing I did that night was put my index finger to that follow icon and went off to dream land. 

The next morning I woke up still thinking about this "group" We Are The Avocados. I felt unbelievably light and excited about this discovery still. I went to school telling classmates about how much I loved "We Are the Avocados" and they were like "Oh Billie Eilish?", I thought 'uh sure, who?" 

About two weeks later I walked into our music library only to discover this same girl on the cover of one of our publications. My eyes got wide and my heart filled with joy because even though many of us barely read those articles, I knew that this was one article I was going to read. Later on that day I grabbed the magazine off the shelf and I begin soaking in the story of the person I came to know as Billie Eilish. It was the story of her beginnings, of her working with her brother and how Ocean Eyes came about. Upon reading this article, things really began to hit me hard and in those moments I was beginning to get a peek into why I stumbled upon her. It was everything I was reading about, the dancing, the singing, working with her brother, their philosophies about writing and also writing for dance, and the unexpected way Ocean Eyes blew up to their surprise. All of the same things I myself have lived and believed, except, I did not have the family support, my mom and dad already died and went to heaven and although I made music with my brother for many years, he turned away from me and still refuses to support me in the area of music today. I no longer want to know why and though I managed through anger and frustration, I realized as I was reading my heart was breaking because of it. 

Now, I don't want this to seem like me reading this article suddenly took me in the wrong direction, certainly not. I just want to be completely honest. It was occurring to me that I was being stirred up. It was shocking the way my soul connected, the way I saw a reflection of myself, my past innocence, my desires and the only thing I ever wanted. I literally felt like I was reading a story about Renaissance Austin and it was not easy. In the end I was encouraged and went over to the computer to search out Ocean Eyes on You Tube which I had never heard. I put on the headphones and welcomed the first harmonies which were beautiful. The moment Billie began singing the verse I was captivated. The first thing that stood out was her subtle vibrating tone, then her range. She had lows and highs and could really sing. Even though there weren't major runs or a lot going on I could tell in her voice that she really had the soul and musicality that one would have who really knows music and that there was room for more. Overall, it was good, calming, ethereal, and ambient. What changed for me was the moment those blue fingertips entered the frame. I gasped! Sure! Of course you would ask what the hell for? It's just blue fingertips. But no. In that moment I knew that there was something special about her mind because she did not have to do that. She could have just sang the song the whole way through with clouds and smoke all around, but those blue fingertips added an extra element of mystery to the whole idea of being held hostage by someone's ocean blue eyes. I was certain that the person I was watching was a TRUE artist and was calculated in her thought process about how she wanted to create and exhibit art. Indeed, the video budget was not much at all, but those blue fingertips of which she then rubbed on her face for added drama mad it all the more tantalizing. When I was done what I felt felt final. I understood the story, I heard the song, I knew who Billie Eilish was. 

It was not until winter break that I had my next opportunity to soak in who Billie Eilish was and that was where the interviews came in. I love getting to know artists through what they have to say, what they believe, their laughter, their jokes and the reason they make music. Videos are just the side bar, the creative visual. With all I had to catch up on outside of school I multitasked by watching Billie's interviews at the same time. I did not know what I was in for. Within the first two interviews I detected that she had the gift of wisdom. Now, the GIFT of wisdom is given by God and God alone usually predetermined before a child is born. Anyone can become wise if they are open to it, but again, the gift is predetermined. As I continued watching I was enthralled and there were others who felt the same way. Billie was feeding us with her words, her searching thoughts, and her charm. She emitted so much personality it was ridiculous and at the end we agreed that she was authentically, unapologetically herself with no filter, until she learned to have them recently. From learning about her family as a whole, her being diagnosed with TS and other issues she has faced I begin to see that she was from the tribe. Now this tribe is an invisible tribe not all tribesman know they are a part of until they come into full awareness of their spiritual nature. It is usually this way for most of us within it until we mature spiritually enough to realize who we are. It is a process like with everything else. I will not say more about this because it's for another article I may never write. But being that Billie was 15, 16, 17 and possessed the spiritual qualities she carried but also not really understanding the "why" is typical of a young and unknowing tribesman who as yet to grow in their understanding of their nature and who they are. Upon learning this I became protective of her in my spirit while my love grew and this continued on until commencement the next Spring.

After graduation I threw myself into the ocean of pop culture and decided that Billie would be my lifeline. I needed to study and figure out how I was going to take what I learned in school and apply it to my life. I did not know who anyone was anymore, but through her I was able to discover new music, new artists and new perspectives on art and even my own creative designs, and understand Gen Z a little better. I was moved in so many ways. I made a private playlist on Youtube of all the music videos and interviews I loved. I mean, I tell you, I was immersed and consumed with all that was Billie Eilish which actually pulled and tugged at my own pains and emotions, as it was really the consumption of myself and what she was teaching me. I literally felt like when Billie spoke about certain topics that she was speaking directly to me and I would ask myself, 'well Ren, what are you going to do about?' She was literally igniting me and helping me to search within myself to find a way to make my life happen, and guys, this is real and honest talk right here. 

It is now August and I am in love more than ever. I was led this summer to begin praying for her which I do often. I was moved to study my scriptures again for preparedness of anything that is to come. As I watched her more the HS begin showing things to me which I will not share publicly. After some time I looked up tour dates for Los Angeles shows and saw that I could not afford to go to the soon coming concerts, but my renewed faith put me right at the Shrine anyway with the expectation of miracles. I was encouraged to make four crocheted throw backs for her since I learned that she crochets. Whether she liked them or not or even got them does not matter. I did it and miracles did happen. Let's just say I went to the Shrine, got my gifts through to security, had no ticket for the concert, and still attended anyway, and met Billie and held her hand. You can read more about that experience here. 

Here is what I believe. The O'connell family has been raised up for the world to see for a reason as with Billie and with Finneas as an amazing songwriter. There is a reason for all of this in which we will talk about at a later time. 


Billie Eilish vs The Fandom | Let the Prank Wars Begin! Will They Continue?

"Name another artist that gets into prank wars with her stans- I'll wait..." were the words of @bilsdemons, one of many Billie Eilish fan accounts. My response?

And it's true. Billie Eilish is lucky to be seventeen right now with a fan base of mostly little ladies of her same generation. Not only that. She is unique in the fact that she has somehow gone from playing with friends throughout her Highland Park and surrounding Los Angeles neighborhoods to playing with "friends" around the world. I call it playing in the Fanbox together. While she is already becoming a case study for other record labels outside of her own, she has made a connection with Stans other artists have not come close to making. Honestly, it's unbelievably authentic and you know what, they are all watching and taking notes. 

We already know about her infamous hugs, that beautiful angelic voice, how she makes everyone cry during live performances, and also probably while sitting in their cars alone under the moonlight sky blasting "I love You" or "When the Party's Over". We also know how wild, crazy, and funny she is having the ability to make everyone feel like they are her sister, brother, or best friend. These days, I find it amazing that you can literally DM a "celebrity", like their photos, leave comments and actually get responses back within seconds or hours. Interaction is so immediate that the bridge between stardom and normal living is so much of a short distance it is as if we are actually living life together with the famous and not separate from them. When I was a little girl, you wrote a fan letter, usually by hand, folded it, licked the envelop, grabbed a stamp, actually drove to the post office to mail it off just to receive an autographed photo some time later. That was it. Billie on the other hand, like many artists, trolls the social media platforms, liking post, sharing stories and even commenting every now and then. Supporters have even shown up to meet and greets only to find out Baby Bil knows who they are already from looking through their grams. The girl is really paying attention and they are amazed! On the flip side she also manages to conjure up a scheme or two and the fandom LOVES IT, the fact that she is even thinking about something to get them good with. 

This past Saturday she pranked all of us which you can read here. But little did she know that two high profile fan accounts was plotting a comeback behind her internet back. I discovered everything that went down today at 11am after pulling into a parking space on campus. I looked at my phone and saw a live stream that @mini.billie.eilish posted. When I read the caption I went into hysterics! My first thought was, "Oh man! I missed baby Billie going live for the first time in like a year and a half!" Unfortunately, it was not Billie. It was the genius fan accounts @beanieeilish and @avocado.eyes.

With @avocado.eyes's idea @beanieeilish went to work. Here's is how she pulled the off the fake live.

Tyniya who manages the account @beanieeilish spent hours photoshopping a black screen to look exactly like Billie's Instagram page. (Man the kids are smart) She went live Sunday night thinking that only 50 people would join. There ended up being over 24,000 instagrammers viewing the fake live of Billie sleeping and farting. That's right, farting. Viewers figured Bille went live but did not know she was live and fell asleep. All you heard was snoring and farting. (Guys, I'm STILL laughing as I write this.)

The comments were to die for. People were so confused. They asked, "Is she sleep?", "Is she dead?" (Clearly dead people don't snore). When the fart happened all hell broke loose, crying emojis and LMFAO left and right spewed from keyboards. Just when I thought the prankster was unprankable. Come Monday, upon waking up, Billie discovered Saturday's prank had been returned and it was good! Baby girl then took to her IG stories and sent out, shall I say, a "humbling" message.

In the next two swipe lefts was a video of her shaking her head for a few seconds, rolling her yes, and finding humor in it all.

She goes on to say: "Yall got me back. It's okay, I deserve it, but I'm gonna get you back real quick".(with a sly smile). "Don't you worry about it. Ta hee heeeeee!"

Then: "You really think my farts are weak like that? Hahaha! That's ain't me. Mine sound like a fucking bomb. Ahahaa!"

And so the prank wars begin. Or do they? Just a couple of hours ago I went back to Baby Bil's story and it was all deleted. Perhaps because suddenly seven video appeared on Youtube with the caption "Billie Eilish Farts in Sleep on Instagram Live". Oh no. In runs the team. But I am only speculating here. However, we are reminded that she is now a "professional artist". Boundaries and filters must be put in place. Or do they really NEED to be? I don't have the answers because I am not there working behind the scenes.

Currently, Stans are plotting another scheme to get Billie good. Will it go down and will Billie Bong actually come back strong, if at all? Generally, I think the pranking will all die down before it gets too out of hand. One Stan suggested that we organize a monthly prank for one day only. Phew! That's quite a commitment for a busy performer like Billie. I am glad everyone is just having fun in the Fanbox for now, considering I have not had this much fun since attending her concert at the Shrine in July. I guess we will have to wait and see what takes places in the next week or so.


The prank wars will not continue. Unfortunately a group of people who call themselves fans began threatening Billie and her personal space. I will not mention all that was spoken of because I do not believe in putting that energy out there. Billie then posted a new story begging and pleading with the fandom to let it all go. The fandom won and she wanted to call a truce. (handshake emoji inserted). She said she would not return the prank, that she loved everyone and that she wanted to move on to something else. Overall, the weekend was fun and we had some good laughs.

Billie Eilish Pranks the Fandom and It's Hilarious

Saturday August 3rd began with a new addition to Billie Eilish's Instagram story. It was a snap of herself on a large billboard in New York City.  All seemed calm and fair throughout Instagram land and just like normal loving fans do, I grabbed my own screenshot and posted to my gram stating how proud I was of her.

On with my day, I spent the morning running errands and getting in that Saturday car wash.  Walking into to my boutique later than normal, I spent what hours I had doing some some creative work before meeting up with my girlfriend Wilma at 4:30pm. We were set to head out to Marina Del Rey, California to see a live summer concert with Kenner born Jon Batiste. We arrived, found our spot on the grassy hill right under the sun whose rays made the Marina Harbor sparkle like diamonds. The concert was wonderfully beautiful and the night was full. I even had my opportunity to dance with Jon Batiste when he brought the New Orleans style parade through the crowd. 

It was not until I got home that night, prepared for bed and laid down to check my Instagram that I realized something strange had taken place in the IG universe. Like I do nearly every night, I check out new Billie tags mostly searching for new photos, fan art, and the funniest memes that causes me to laugh myself to sleep. This time I came across a post that stated something interesting about a photo that was "accidentally" posted in Zoe Donahoe's Instagram story, one of Billie's best friends. The fan account urged people to stop reposting the photo because Zoe deleted it for a reason. I became concerned leaving a comment asking what the heck happened? Is Billie okay? The response was, "We don't know". 

After doing a little bit of digging I saw many posts and commentary about a photo of Billie that Zoe posted in her IG story that was possibly allegedly supposed to go to Zoe's close friends stories and not her public stories. However, after some minutes it was said to have been deleted. However, it only takes seconds for millions of people to grab a screenshot then hit the ground running.  From there I learned that the fandom went to work hard reporting the photo and getting "fake" fan accounts canceled that were posting the photo. They encouraged each other to post positive things like the photos of Billie I ran across that simply said "I love you so much" or "we love your so much". Even Zoe had inspired posts that said "Zoe it's not your fault". Someone even created a fake story insert that made it look like Billie posted a black screen saying "who's gonna start a gofundme for Zoe's funeral?". There was a fan account I ran across that was fairly new with only 7 posts, 4 followers, and they were following a little over 100 people. It seemed to me, and based off of other comments, people were starting new fan accounts that day trying to get follows and capitalize from this one photo. Fortunately, by the time I got to the Billie tags that night it was around 11pm and the photo itself had nearly disappeared. I figured the situation was mostly clearing up until I scrolled and ran right into it. Billie was in swimwear with a Playboy coverup and that is all I am going to say about it, nor will I include it in this article. Baby doll is cute though and full of fire.

So at least I had the opportunity to report at least one photo. What was so funny was that by the time it was midnight, at least in California, Billie posted an all new IG story. It began with this photo that included a revolving troll emoji. The original photo that was posted was completely from behind without her head turned. Here, she displays a sneaky smirk that had all of the fandom throwing their hands up yelling "She pranked us again!"

Swiping to the left there was a photo of her with a big cheesy grin. 

The third photo was of her and Zoe chilling in a room with big grins on their faces. 

For just a few moments Billie allowed the fandom to take it all in. Within seconds these photos were screenshot and posts and clown memes were going up like mad. Then finally Billie added to the story by writing a white screen message that said: 

See, Billie and Zoe conspired to post the photo on Zoe's IG story but only for a few minutes before Zoe deleted everything. Majority of the fandom responded with laughter and returned 'I love you(s)' and 'I love you more(s)', and of course immediately posting the bikini photos again of which Billie herself hearted. I know I was giggling so hard it was not even funny. And this was true for some of the fandom who commented that they felt embarrassed, like clowns, or hurt that she would prank them like this and was already making plans to get revenge. From one post I ran across, all the work the fandom put in that day accounted for over 700,000 photos and accounts being reported and canceled. Hmm, I wonder what Instagram thinks of all of this.

Overall, the way I look at the the whole ball game is Billie, as an artist can simply go about her day knowing she has fans but not really worried about playing in the fanbox (yeah I just made that up) with them. She could be totally professional and only do what's latest and greatest in social media marketing, but she and Zoe literally took the time to troll the fandom all day to see what everyone would do and I believe in the end she knows that the fandom, we, I, truly love her, cares about her and wants to protect her, sword and armor. However, she will be 18 soon and of course other ages thereafter which means she will continue to do what she is comfortable doing when ever she is ready to do it and sometimes that will mean a photo or two of her not so fully clothed, and also us just letting her do what she wants. 

Truth be told, as far as the skit itself, it is not anything to take seriously as some fans have. However, as a Billie fan who is 30+ I would only be concerned about the stupidity of mainstream media and the photo getting in the wrong hands and possibly media manipulators coming for her. Next thing you know her ass will be all over the tabloids, literally. But hey, perhaps that will never happen and if it does, and she does not mind her bum being splattered next to O Magazine and packages of bubblegum at the grocery checkout, we will just have to remember what the Baby says, "One day I will die and non of this will matter".  

As far as the general demographic of the fandom which is from age 0 to 19 they are very impressionable and are not thinking this way when still posting the photo. I do spend time commenting and talking with some of the fan accounts without being too serious. I am just hoping to bring balance really. Truth be told on IG as well as You Tube many of Billie's older fans who are 30+, I sense feel bad that they are old but love her. Well, I am here to say, guys calm down. The older fans relate to those wonderful Billie lectures from interviews and if you are not overly adulting then you can get down and laugh at the pranks too which I believe Billie would rather you do no matter your age. 

To shut it all down, Billie and Zoe were having lots of fun on Saturday August 3rd. It was quite a wild ride and if I had caught it form the beginning I would have been reporting photos just the same, I think.